Confessions From A Reformed Over-scheduler
As someone who loves to plan, sometimes I’ve learned its better to put that perfectly crafted itinerary aside when your children are feeling over-scheduled on vacation.
I get it. You’re on a long-awaited vacation with your kids. There is SO much you want to see and experience in this new place. You’re itinerary is perfect, you have all the maps and local information you need, and nothing can get in your way! Except…for that one little variable you brought along. Your children.
As much as we’d like to think otherwise, bringing kids on vacation changes things. It makes the experience different and brings so many opportunities to learn together, see new interests blossom, and create lifelong memories as a family. In my mind, there’s nothing better! But as someone who loves to plan, I’ve also learned that sometimes you need to put that schedule aside.
The most vivid example of this was our last big vacation as a family to Croatia in August 2023. This was a trip planned for 2020 (womp, womp), and to say I was excited to finally be there was an understatement. My husband gave me full authority to plan our 15 days adventure and I did so with gusto. Towards the end of our trip, we were staying in Dubrovnik in the southern tip of the country. Just an hour’s drive south (plus summer traffic, plus border crossings) was the glorious Bay of Kotor, Montenegro, a place that had been on my bucket list for a while. In my mind, this was an obvious day trip.
In the morning, I was up early to pack snacks and make sure everyone had a change of clothes and necessary things for the day. As my husband and I put together a quick breakfast, our children came out of their room all bleary-eyed and decidedly NOT enthusiastic about getting in the car and driving again. To put this in perspective, we had already driven quite a lot. We’d taken the kids down the entire Dalmatian coast, across the island Bol, in and around eastern Bosnia and Herzegovina…and the next day we were going to spend the whole day driving back north.
“Mom…”, my 9-year old started, “I really don’t want to take another day trip.”
“What?! But this place is going to be so beautiful! I really think you’ll love it!”
My 7-year old chimed in next. “Yeah but I like this place. Can’t we just go to the beach?”
By the time my 2 year old made his opinions known, it was clear that no child wanted to go anywhere other than the beach and out for gelato.
I was shocked. My heart sank and I felt my whole body deflate a little. And then I realized that while this was my vacation, it was also theirs. And I had tried to squeeze every bit of magic out of every beach, fortress, castle, or vineyard we visited, without stopping often enough to assess what it was my kids needed.
My husband and I looked at each other and knew that today, we were going to have to throw out my perfectly crafted schedule. Not because it was bad but because in some moments you need to be flexible enough to adjust course and listen to the needs of your tiny travelers.
And you know what? The day ended up being blissfully near-perfect. We ate fresh goodies from a bakery, played for hours on the beach, strolled amongst the throngs of tourists inside the Old City walls, and ate gelato all at the pace our kids needed. The kids had so much fun that day and I knew we made the right call.
I’m a reformed over-scheduler, and I’m so grateful for my kids helping me to embrace the more leisurely pace of vacation.