Traveling With An Anxious Child: Part 2
Have an anxious child? Here are 5 helpful tips our family uses for managing anxiety in children while traveling.
Last week, I explained how one of my children suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and how this necessitates an extra level of planning when taking a vacation. But once the planning is done and you are on-site, what happens then? There are 5 tips we have utilized in our travels that have truly helped manage my child’s anxiety when far from home.
Just Say Yes
Ok, not yes to everything, but make your anxious child as comfortable as possible in little ways. We used to be a no-screen travel family. (Yes, I bet a lot of you are rolling your eyes right now!) When my child started to express extreme anxiety about flying on airplanes last year, for the first time ever, my husband and I decided to make some changes. While long/international flights typically provide in-flight entertainment, we also wanted to be sure that there were familiar options for our child. We purchased tablets and it ended up being a great tool to have in our back pocket. There may be small changes you can say “yes” to that will go a long way in providing comfort in an otherwise anxious situation.
Acknowledge Feelings
Empathize with your child, reassure, and give them space to express their feelings. Children with anxiety can express these big feelings in any manner of ways, and it’s important as parents and caregivers to allow them to feel safe enough to let these feelings be known.
Give Some Autonomy
Some kids will find decision making to be paralyzing, others will find it helpful. For my child with anxiety, we allow strategic times for autonomy. Parents are in charge of the big picture, but we are fine handing over some smaller detail planning. This can look like, "Which gelato shop should we go to today?" or "Should we eat lunch before or after we visit that cool playground?" Of course with multiple children this can be tricky, but always look for ways to give a child with anxiety some level of control if/when possible.
See Their Perspective, Literally
Give them a camera! This helps to reorient children to be on the hunt for things that interest them at the new place. Instead of focusing on a fear, this can help a child to literally look for interesting things and help build memories at the same time. Incorporate these photos into discussions in your daily debrief.
Daily Debrief
A tradition we have as a family is to record our family’s highs and lows for each day of vacation. This is simply achieved over a dinner conversation or evening gelato. For your child(ren) with anxiety, probe a little deeper. What went well? What was an unexpected highlight? What caused big feelings? What made you feel uncomfortable? While you may not always be able to change things in your schedule, it is helpful to ascertain if there is any way you can adjust things to be more palatable for your anxious child.
We hope these tips are helpful for you and your family!
Disclosures:
1)We are not medical professionals or therapists. The suggestions made here are from a parent’s point of view for what we personally have found to be helpful.
2) This post contains affiliate links, which may earn us a small commission from purchases made (at no cost to you). Thanks!
Why a road trip is a great decision…even with kids
Some of my fondest memories as a child revolve around piling into the back of our Ford Aerostar minivan and setting off to destinations unknown. It was memory-making at its finest. And yet, the thought of a road trip…with kids?!…can be quite daunting. Here are our top three reasons we think a roadtrip can be worth it.
Some of my fondest memories as a child revolve around piling into the back of our Ford Aerostar minivan and setting off to destinations unknown. From our home in Texas, we ventured all up and down the East Coast, out to Niagara Falls, down through the Appalachians and covered a lot of ground all around the Gulf of Mexico. It was memory-making at its finest.
And yet, the thought of a road trip…with kids?!…can be quite daunting. Here are our top three reasons we think a roadtrip can be worth it.
Explore more places
Ever been to Castine, Maine? How about Sylva, North Carolina? The reality is that road trips allow you to explore so much more of a country. A few summers ago, as our family made our yearly trip to Santa Rosa Beach, we made a pitstop in Montgomery, Alabama and explored the National Memorial for Peace and Justice. It was by far one of the most impactful experiences in my life…and we would’ve missed it if we had taken our normal flight down to the beach. Could we make a separate trip to some of these smaller places? Sure. But road trips can be a natural way to explore these smaller but no less beautiful and impactful areas.
Take your time
Is it just me, or is making sure you’re constantly running on time- can’t miss that flight/train/tour/restaurant hours/shop- one of the most stressful parts of travel as a family? When you take a roadtrip, you more fully control your own schedule. If you need to stop to play at a park to get some wiggles out? Do it. Forgot to pack enough diapers? Detour at a local grocery store or pharmacy. Someone need a potty break, after a potty break, after a potty break? Annoying, but possible when you’re on a road trip.
The costs are usually lower, and the time together as a family is so valuable
While gas prices aren’t exactly low these days (who remembers filling up a tank of gas for $20?!), generally speaking, roadtrips in your own vehicle are significantly less expensive than flying. Yes, they sometimes take more time (thought when you add in getting to the airport early, security, etc etc, maybe not)- but the time spent as a family really can be so valuable. When we travel, my husband or I read a world history book out loud to our kids and discuss what we’re learning as we go. The kids now ask us to read any time we’re in the car, even on short trips around town! Audible has excellent children’s books options. Or maybe you just need to hand your kid a tablet and some headphones so you can stare out the window in peace for a little bit. And that’s ok too- because what matters most is that you’re wandering well, together.
What are some of your favorite roadtrip memories or tips? Share them with us on our Instagram, @wanderwelltravelers
Confessions From A Reformed Over-scheduler
As someone who loves to plan, sometimes I’ve learned its better to put that perfectly crafted itinerary aside when your children are feeling over-scheduled on vacation.
I get it. You’re on a long-awaited vacation with your kids. There is SO much you want to see and experience in this new place. You’re itinerary is perfect, you have all the maps and local information you need, and nothing can get in your way! Except…for that one little variable you brought along. Your children.
As much as we’d like to think otherwise, bringing kids on vacation changes things. It makes the experience different and brings so many opportunities to learn together, see new interests blossom, and create lifelong memories as a family. In my mind, there’s nothing better! But as someone who loves to plan, I’ve also learned that sometimes you need to put that schedule aside.
The most vivid example of this was our last big vacation as a family to Croatia in August 2023. This was a trip planned for 2020 (womp, womp), and to say I was excited to finally be there was an understatement. My husband gave me full authority to plan our 15 days adventure and I did so with gusto. Towards the end of our trip, we were staying in Dubrovnik in the southern tip of the country. Just an hour’s drive south (plus summer traffic, plus border crossings) was the glorious Bay of Kotor, Montenegro, a place that had been on my bucket list for a while. In my mind, this was an obvious day trip.
In the morning, I was up early to pack snacks and make sure everyone had a change of clothes and necessary things for the day. As my husband and I put together a quick breakfast, our children came out of their room all bleary-eyed and decidedly NOT enthusiastic about getting in the car and driving again. To put this in perspective, we had already driven quite a lot. We’d taken the kids down the entire Dalmatian coast, across the island Bol, in and around eastern Bosnia and Herzegovina…and the next day we were going to spend the whole day driving back north.
“Mom…”, my 9-year old started, “I really don’t want to take another day trip.”
“What?! But this place is going to be so beautiful! I really think you’ll love it!”
My 7-year old chimed in next. “Yeah but I like this place. Can’t we just go to the beach?”
By the time my 2 year old made his opinions known, it was clear that no child wanted to go anywhere other than the beach and out for gelato.
I was shocked. My heart sank and I felt my whole body deflate a little. And then I realized that while this was my vacation, it was also theirs. And I had tried to squeeze every bit of magic out of every beach, fortress, castle, or vineyard we visited, without stopping often enough to assess what it was my kids needed.
My husband and I looked at each other and knew that today, we were going to have to throw out my perfectly crafted schedule. Not because it was bad but because in some moments you need to be flexible enough to adjust course and listen to the needs of your tiny travelers.
And you know what? The day ended up being blissfully near-perfect. We ate fresh goodies from a bakery, played for hours on the beach, strolled amongst the throngs of tourists inside the Old City walls, and ate gelato all at the pace our kids needed. The kids had so much fun that day and I knew we made the right call.
I’m a reformed over-scheduler, and I’m so grateful for my kids helping me to embrace the more leisurely pace of vacation.